Child Bullied Online? What Parents Can Do Now

If your child is being bullied online, you often find out late. Many children and teenagers stay silent out of shame, or because they are afraid their phone will be taken away. If your child does confide in you, that is a sign of trust. This guide shows how you can respond: listen, secure evidence, involve the school, get help. It also gives an overview of the legal options in Germany.

If there is immediate danger, for example threats, blackmail with images or signs that your child might harm themselves: call 110 (police) or 112 (ambulance). The Telefonseelsorge crisis line is available around the clock on 0800 111 0 111.

How can you tell your child is being bullied online?

There are no sure signs. But changes like these can be indications:

• Your child withdraws or seems downcast after looking at their phone.
• They suddenly avoid their phone, or can hardly put it down.
• They no longer want to go to school, training or see friends.
• They sleep badly, eat less or complain more often of stomach aches or headaches.
• They delete accounts or change their username unusually often.

Changes like these can have many causes. Talk to your child about them without pushing.

How do you talk to your child about it?

• Stay calm. Your anger at the people responsible is understandable. But right now your child mainly needs someone who listens.
• Don't ask whose fault it is. Questions like “Why did you post that?” close doors. Being bullied is never the fault of the person bullied.
• No phone ban as a reaction. Your child will experience it as punishment. Next time, they may not tell you anything.
• Decide together. Ask what your child wants. Explain which steps you think are necessary and why. Don't act behind their back, unless there is danger.
• Take it seriously, even if it seems small. A comment in the class group chat can look harmless from the outside. For your child, it may be part of something bigger.

What evidence should you secure?

Before anything is reported, blocked or deleted, secure the content. Otherwise it will be hard to show later what happened.

• Screenshots showing the profile name, date, time and the thread before and after
• Links to posts and profiles
• On WhatsApp: the sender's phone number, the group name and its members. You can also export the chat “without media”.
• A simple log: date, platform, who, what

A guide for each major platform is in Securing Evidence of Online Hate.

Important with nude images: if nude images or sexual recordings of your child or other minors are involved, do not take screenshots, do not save anything and do not forward anything, not even to the school or other parents. Possessing and passing on such material can be a criminal offence under Sections 184b and 184c of the German Criminal Code (StGB), even for adults who only want to help. Note where the image appeared and go directly to the police. If your child sent an image themselves and is now being pressured with it, don't blame them. What to do next is explained in Sextortion: Blackmail with Nude Images.

Report content and block accounts

Once everything is secured, report the content to the platform. Under the EU Digital Services Act, platforms must offer easy-to-use reporting channels and decide on reports. Your child can then block the accounts. Many apps also let you restrict who can comment or send messages. Go through the settings together.

When should you involve the school?

If the attacks come from the class or the school, the school should know about it, even if everything happens online. Bullying rarely stops at the school gate.

• Talk first to the class teacher, a trusted teacher (Vertrauenslehrkraft) or the school social worker (Schulsozialarbeit).
• Bring a short written overview: what, when, who is involved. Take copies; keep the originals.
• Ask what the school plans to do and by when. Make a written note of the conversation.
• If nothing changes, contact the head teacher.

Which measures a school can take is set by the school law of each federal state. What students can do themselves, and what role the school plays, is covered in Cyberbullying at School: What to Do.

Don't confront the other children or their parents on your own, and certainly not in a group chat. It can make things worse for your child. A conversation moderated by the school is usually the safer route.

What legal options are there?

This is a general overview. Whether an offence has been committed in your case can only be assessed by a law firm or the police.

Criminal report. Insults, threats, lies about your child or sharing photos without consent can be criminal offences. You can report them at any police station or online through the police Onlinewache of your federal state.

Request for prosecution by the parents. Many of these offences are, as a rule, only prosecuted on request, through a formal Strafantrag. For minors, it is filed by those with parental responsibility (Section 77(3) StGB). The three-month deadline starts when you as parents learn of the offence and the offender (Section 77b(2) StGB).

Age of those involved. Anyone under 14 at the time of the offence cannot be punished (Section 19 StGB). From 14, juvenile criminal law applies. Under civil law, children from the age of seven can be liable if they had the insight needed to understand their responsibility (Section 828 of the Civil Code, BGB).

Civil law. Separately from criminal proceedings, a law firm can demand that the person stops and that content is removed. Whether that makes sense in your case, and what it costs, is something to clarify with the firm. On a low income, legal advice assistance (Beratungshilfe) may be an option, which you apply for at the local court (Amtsgericht).

Where can parents and children get help?

• Nummer gegen Kummer, children and youth helpline: 116 111, Monday to Saturday from 2 pm to 8 pm, free and anonymous. On Saturdays, young people give the advice. For your child.
• Nummer gegen Kummer, parents' helpline: 0800 111 0 550, Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 9 am to 5 pm, Tuesday and Thursday from 9 am to 7 pm. For you. More at nummergegenkummer.de.
• JUUUPORT: young people advise teenagers online about problems on the internet, confidentially and free of charge, at juuuport.de.
• klicksafe: information for parents on cyberbullying and media education at klicksafe.de.
• HateAid: support for people affected by digital violence at hateaid.org.
• Telefonseelsorge: 0800 111 0 111, around the clock, also for parents.

These services work mainly in German. Look after yourself too. When your child is attacked, the whole family carries the weight.

Frequently asked questions

Should I take my child's phone away?

Better not. The bullying doesn't stop, and your child experiences it as punishment. Joint steps help more: secure, report, block, adjust settings.

Can I talk to the other children's parents directly?

Yes, but such conversations escalate easily when emotions run high. A conversation accompanied by the school is usually safer for your child.

Is cyberbullying a criminal offence?

German law has no specific offence called “cyberbullying”. But many individual acts fall under existing provisions, such as insult, threats or stalking. For an overview, see Cyberbullying and Hate Speech: Definition and Legal Position.

What if the school does not respond?

Contact the head teacher in writing. If that brings no result, the school supervisory authority (Schulaufsicht) of your federal state is the next step.

How Hass-Hetze can help

You can report it through our form together with your child. Upload screenshots and links there, but never nude images. If you say yes, your report goes automatically to a suitable cooperating law firm (Kooperationskanzlei) as soon as one is available. If there is no suitable firm right now, you get an email with other places to turn to straight away. Deadlines keep running: you can always file a request for prosecution (Strafantrag) with the police yourself. The legal assessment comes from the law firm, not from us.